so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
