We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
