1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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