I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
