The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were trust falling into bushes
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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