Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
