please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
