i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
