I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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