Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had to cum in my sink.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
