You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
