so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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