you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
