Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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