Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
