I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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