drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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