State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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