I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
