he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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