i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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