And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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