Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
