I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
