No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize