I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
