Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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