I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
