Porn is love you can see.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize