I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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