no one should ever give us hovercrafts
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
