We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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