she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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