i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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