im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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