I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
