...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
