You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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