using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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