I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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