come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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