Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize