I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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