I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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