Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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