Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
