I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I accidentally had phone sex last night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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