I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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