I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
