the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
