U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize