i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
