she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
