i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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