These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
