At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
