considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
